Empathy: The key for a healthy community

Empathy: The key for a healthy community

Empathy is one of the greatest gifts given to humankind. Our ability of reasoning allows us to understand how others could feel in particular situations and put ourselves in their perspective before we make a judgement. This might seem like a very easy and nonsignificant process but if you think about it broadly you would understand how empathy has a huge impact on the development of today’s society. Being one of the key elements for a healthy relationship, empathy lets us connect with others on a deeper level. Empathy is highly connected to our emotional state as the most important part of it is to comprehend others’ feelings. That’s why Dr. Judith Orloff names empaths as “emotional sponges' '; because they can absorb others’ emotions just like it’s theirs.

To have a fulfilling social life it’s important to improve the empathetic skills you have. Even if you see yourself as a real empath, it would be useful to use techniques that could help you practise empathetic relationships and to boost your abilities to relate to other people. Here are some advices from New York Times you can make use of:

Choose diversity: A true empathetic person should not differentiate people in any sense and should be open to all kinds of differences. That’s why it’s important to engage with people from different backgrounds, learn about their stories, their cultures, their traditions and their lifestyle. This will help you to adopt a more open point of view which you can use in all kinds of relations you make in the future.
Be an active listener: It’s not really possible to keep our full attention all time long while we’re talking to another person. None of us can really do that 7/24, so don’t be mad at yourself if you’re a little “too dreamy” too. But pushing yourself to be an active listener is actually a great way to improve your empathy skills. As you force yourself a little more and more you will realise it’s way easier than you think it is. You get to learn more than the topic of the conversation when you become an active listener; you learn about how people use their facial expression, their intonation, their body language and more. And this definitely adds up to your empathic abilities.
Forget your prejudices: In today’s world it is nearly impossible to approach someone, something or some place new without hesitations. We all try to make some judgments according to what we see, what we hear about and what we feel. It’s okay to predict these things, since it’s part of our very humane survival instinct. But it’s important to make sure those prejudices don’t rule all your thoughts about that particular situation. Try to stay open-minded as much as you can. Know the possibility of surprises around you. Know that your opinion could be wrong and be open to changing it easily.
Don’t forget to give yourself time to relax: Being mindful is critical for empathy. As you become more aware of the current environment you’re in and let go of what happened in the past or what’s going to happen in the future, you would more easily understand the little details hidden around you. This might be about what people around you actually mean while stating their emotions or understanding your own struggles in a more honest way. Mindfulness can easily be practised through simple exercises; breathing activities, meditation or yoga could serve this purpose very simply and efficiently. It might be hard to decide what kind of exercise works best for you. Moodcare has so many different kinds of exercises, so I definitely suggest you take a look since I know you will find something that suits you. As you get to understand yourself better, you will see that this will apply to your social life too.

“Too much good can be bad”

“Positive vibes only” can be harmful, that’s right! Think about it, when we’re going through tough times, we want to share our feelings with someone and be able to gain unconditional support.

During times of intense personal distress, rejecting negative feelings and engraining positive ones can be particularly irritating. When people are dealing with difficult circumstances such as financial difficulties, health issues, or death, being advised to “focus on the good” might sound harsh.

In a study by Ford et. al. (2018), more than 1,300 adults were studied to see if there was a link between emotional acceptance and psychological wellbeing. They discovered that people who avoid facing difficult emotions on a regular basis felt worse. This indeed suggests that accepting negative feelings instead of ignoring or rejecting them may be better for a person’s mental wellbeing in the future.

Toxic positivity can be damaging to both motivation and self-esteem. It depends on magical thinking to reach goals rather than being motivated to put in some effort. It emphasizes the belief that adopting a positive attitude will be sufficient to change things however, it only leads to suppression of feelings. It rejects the fact that the suppressed feelings can accumulate over time damaging mental health.

As I am finalizing this article, I want to point out the significance of empathy one more time. As living in a social world, it’s so important to make sure we understand each other. Otherwise even though we’re surrounded by hundreds of people it would not mean anything for us. Empathy has a huge power on our humanistic part and it’s so important not to hold onto it. So, for your well-being, for the relationships you build and for the community you live in, start to practise empathy in different ways and watch the change that will take place.

Author

Ceren Bayrakçı

Senior Psychology Student

Start Your Journey on Moodcare